When I got the call that Alexis had passed away, I was on a flight the next morning to Nebraska. Everything was such a blur for me. I was in major disbelief that my daughter passing was real, was this actually happening to me? It was Sunday when I got to Nebraska and I spent the afternoon talking to my family and gathering her things. Well, what's next? We wait for the coroner to call me so I can view the body of my beautiful daughter and send her back home.
For the next 2 days I had the most anxiety I have ever had in my life. I am in another town, without my immediate family, dealing with the raw emotions of just learning of my daughters passing. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I was in a hotel room all by myself just waiting. These by far were the worst days of my life, waiting and lamenting. Then I finally got the call every mother dreads. ‘Melissa, this is the Des Moines Iowa coroner office. We have your daughter.’
After speaking to the coroner, Alexis’s body was arranged to be sent back to a local funeral home where she would be viewed and sent back to AZ. The night before I was scheduled to see Alexis, I cried to God. I told him I cant do this- I cannot see my child lifeless, I am her mother but I cannot do this. Please help me.
In true fashion, God never disappoints. I woke up the next morning to a scripture that said ‘He who asks God for help, shall receive it.’ I knew this was my sign, he was telling me it was okay to say no. He was with me, all I had to do was give it to him.
When I arrived to the funeral home the next morning, the funeral director was in tears. She was extremely apologetic for her behavior and wanted to tell me she was so sorry for my loss but wanted to warn me that Alexis physical condition was deteriorating quickly . To which I smiled and calmly responded- ‘It’s okay, My God already told me that. I have no intention of seeing her, my daughter is in Heaven. That body in that room is not my daughter, only her body.’
When I left the funeral home, I had about a 20 minute drive back to our hotel. The drive consisted of acres and acres of fields and in that moment, God shared with me this vision. You see this battlefield? I have prepared you for battle, you were ready to fight these battles and you are equipped to do so. What you did not see was the aftermath that would occur should you choose to fight this battle. Some battles I will fight for you, I am always with you. I will take care of the aftermath, save your fight. This one is for me, stay equipped, stay ready, know that I am always with you. Go in Peace my daughter.